5 methods to reduce stress for new dads

In 2021 a group of 19 expecting and new fathers took part in a 5-week program called “Becoming Fathers.”

Scientists were interested in the psychology of new dads. They wanted to help them handle stress, build paternal confidence and rejuvenate communication with their partners.

Over the space of 5 weeks, the researchers used mixed methods of mindfulness practice, group discussions on fatherhood and skills-based education on baby care. Each new dad attended for 1 hour a week.

When the results rolled in, researchers found stress and depression decreased for the new dads. They grew to be more mindful, especially in being kinder to themselves, which is something we love!

So in the spirit of those findings, we really want to get into actionable ways new fathers can reduce stress for themselves.

5 of the best ways you can reduce stress

Being a dad is hard. From the 9 months leading up to birth to a year after your newborn arrives, your hormones are all over the place and you have more questions than answers.

Here are 5 of the best practices you can carry out to get your stress levels down.

Curate a baby-music playlist

Music is just one of those things that can never be over-appreciated. One of the best ways to reduce stress is to get deeper into the music you love and find new songs that resonate with you as you go through this tumultuous and nerve-wracking time.

I recently had the joy of putting my ear to my partner’s now-occupied stomach while I had a 2000s pop music playlist going. One particular old song came on; Jack Johnson’s “Better Together.” 

I can’t say I was a huge fan of the song at the time, but a rhythmic kick was felt on the side of my face as the song was playing. This got me to thinking: “I wonder if I could make a playlist of songs that get some guaranteed kicks of joy!”

Music works wonders for destressing an expectant dad and keeping a newborn happy, so that’s two birds with one stone.

From the sounds of studies like this, fetuses already understand this universal feeling before they even enter this world. The study found the possibility that maternal exposure to music during pregnancy can positively influence neonatal and newborn behaviour.

Try out A Tribe Called Quest’s “Can I Kick It?” Yes, ya can!

A dedicated sports massage and spa day

Did your mind just create a picture of cucumber slices over a bloke’s eyes? The most salient service people think of when they hear the word “spa” is a standard massage, but there’s a growing number of companies that are offering a day of sports massages. 

In physiotherapy and sports psychology, a sports massage is basically your normal massage but targeted for those who do regular physical activity. You’ve probably already realised the importance of staying physically healthy.

Well, now some companies are even getting into combining a day of sports with a sports massage service at the end, even golf massages.

Now take this principle and run with it! Dedicating a day for yourself at a spa can help you reduce stress. There’s even some scientific backing on how massages reduce cortisol, also known by some as the “stress hormone.”

It’s up to you how far you want to go with the white linen bath robes and fluffy slippers. We just want you to know that spas really can reduce stress for expectant dads.

Switching-up your wardrobe

All right, we know this one might sound a little strange, but stick with us. We were wondering: what specifically makes us stressed out as expectant fathers? Of course, we stress out as we run around after our pregnant partner, but how about the way the world treats us?

Could it be the case that what we wear has an effect on our stress levels? How about the fact that the way we dress is a fundamental component of person perception? 

Yes, scientists really have gotten into the psychology of how we dress. Whether we want to believe it or not, the way someone dresses does affect the way we treat them. Could it be that if you dress a little more sharply, you can help reduce stress for yourself throughout the day? This could be as small as the way a stranger treats you on the street.

We’re not saying everyone should be kind to the man with no shirt on, or we should be ruder to the guy in the suit. You don’t need to splash out on Brioni Of London suits to look better. Just spend a bit more time thinking about how your dress influences how you’re treated.

Set up retro game emulator

Now we’re getting to things a little dearer to our hearts here at Dad Psych. 

Disclaimer; you really shouldn’t go overboard with how often you’re playing games as an expectant dad.

Video games have become so prevalent in modern life that a person’s back catalogue of games can last longer than a lifetime. However, in moderation, researchers are finding that video games improve our well-being.  

We can’t help it, here at Dad Psych, we’re into retro games. To be honest, we find modern games can be a little too hectic. We prefer diving into the world of game emulation and going through old childhood favourites to reduce stress.

We’ve likely all got our own memories of playing games with our dads while growing up (For me, it was him helping me avoid that drowning sound in Sonic 1 on MegaDrive).

The wonderful ePSXe is our current weapon of choice for emulating PlayStation 1 (Solid Snake has been snapping some unsuspecting necks in the hangar). If you’ve got a Wii floating about, some fantastic emulators run through any old USB too. 

You’re just gonna have to do a bit of your own research on where to find the good stuff.

Rekindle a reading habit

Our final recommendation to reduce anxiety and stress is to simply make more time to read. When your newborn finally arrives, you want them to read as early and as much as possible, right?

Well, don’t lose track of this principle. Research illustrates how regularly reading comes with a host of benefits that reduce stress, including:

• Building psychological resilience

• Developing coping strategies

• Improving self-confidence

• Increase hope in social relationships

• Using mindfulness to reduce anxiety

• Reducing emotional disturbance

All of these can help you deal with paternal depression as your reading list grows.

For expectant fathers

Read early stories for babies directly to your partner’s stomach. Of course, the research isn’t conclusive, but there are some scientific suggestions that fetal stimulation techniques can positively affect pre-natal behaviours. Even if the unborn baby is just getting used to your voice, it could be worth a shot!

For new fathers:

Get into reading the greatest books for newborns to your little one. We’ll go out on a limb here and say there are lessons for you to learn through these books too. There certainly were for us!

For all fathers

Never lose track of the benefits of reading to become a greater man. We’ve found that the deeper we dive into books, the more knowledge is available, with a lot of it applying to parenting. Mindfulness through Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations has been helping us mentally prepare.

Join the free Dad Psych community

Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences in the world. We remember our dad saying “There’s no book on fatherhood, son” as a child. Well, maybe we’re slowly writing that book. 

Here at Dad Psych, we want to make new fathers the best men they can possibly be. Being a father isn’t easy. The psychology of fatherhood is extremely complex, and you might find there’s not enough research out there to help you as a new father.

If you liked what you read in this article but found it a bit too long, our weekly bite-sized newsletter condenses the science into smaller, tastier chunks for expectant fathers. 

Our free subscription hits you with simple and helpful science every Wednesday to help fathers get ready to be the men they need to be.

FAQs 

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed as a new dad?

The long and short of it is a resounding YES. Changes are happening to you on a chemical level, which is one of the main reasons we at Dad Psych write! Check our link on how testosterone drops for expectant fathers.

How do dads cope with stress?

The answer to this question might apply to people from all walks of life. Hopefully, you’re with us when we say there are positive and negative coping methods, and this is true for expectant fathers and new days. Drinking more is one example of a damaging coping mechanism.

How to deal with anxiety as a new dad?

You’ve probably got an uncountable number of questions as your newborn is arriving, and having too many questions can lead to anxiety. To reduce anxiety, a new father needs to be resilient and practical, with a healthy body and state of mind. A new dad can follow our newsletter to learn healthier paternal practices.