Your son learns masculinity from you

It might feel like your newborn boy—or even your soon-to-arrive baby—is years away from having an opinion on anything, let alone what it means to “be a man.” But here’s something fascinating: your influence on how they’ll think about masculinity has already begun.

A recent study explored how fathers shape their sons’ views on masculinity, and the results are eye-opening for new dads like you.

What the study found

Researchers looked at 839 pairs of fathers and sons, aged 15–20, and found a strong connection between a dad’s views on masculinity and his son’s. Dads who held more ‘traditional’ beliefs—like the importance of appearing heterosexual or the desirability of multiple sexual partners—were far more likely to pass these views on to their sons.

Even with all the other influences young men encounter (friends, school, media) the study showed dads are still the most significant role models for shaping ideas about masculinity.

What this means

As a new dad, this research underscores how much your own beliefs and behaviours set the tone for what your son will grow up thinking it means to “be a man.” How you handle emotions, relationships, and challenges ends up creating a blueprint for your child.

If you grew up with traditional ideas of masculinity, this is a chance to reflect on which parts of that you want to pass on and which parts you might want to leave behind. The study reminds us that raising a son with healthier ideas about being a man starts with us dads.

What does it mean for me as a new dad?

Right now, your son is watching everything you do—or at least, he soon will be. Even in the early days, how you interact with your partner, handle stress, or show affection starts to shape his understanding of manhood.

But don’t try and aim for something as difficult as perfection. The key here is being mindful. When you’re frustrated, try talking about your feelings instead of bottling them up. Show kindness and respect in your actions. And most importantly, be present.

The way you approach fatherhood will ripple into the kind of man your son becomes. That might feel like a lot of responsibility, but it’s also an incredible opportunity. Right now, you’re shaping not just your son but future generations of men. Let’s make it count.

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