Hi, this is Dan from Dad Psych.

Feeling sidelined as a new dad? With all eyes on mom and baby, it’s easy to feel lost.

Every Wednesday, we’ll untangle the science and psychology behind your new world in 5 minutes or less.

Straightforward, research-backed and never costing you a penny.

When Confucius meets Cocomelon 👨‍🏫 

There’s an old Confucian saying: “To feed without teaching is the father’s fault.” In traditional Chinese families, the dad is the breadwinner, as well as the moral architect. Think less Bluey, more Socratic life coach in a Mandarin robe.

But it seems that’s all starting to change.

A new study interviewed 34 Chinese dads of preschoolers and found that today’s fathers are living in the space between Confucius and Cocomelon. They still feel the pressure to lead, provide, and discipline, but they’re also wiping noses, negotiating tantrums, and figuring out how to connect with their kid when work, tradition, and in-laws all want their attention too.

Key findings from the study:

• The Confucian Hangover: The traditional father was supposed to guide children’s moral development once they hit the “age of reason” (around six). But modern Chinese dads are stepping in earlier now, helping out during the messy, clingy, sticky preschool years.

• Pressure from all sides: These dads are navigating their own beliefs, cultural expectations, work hours that stretch beyond 9–5, and sometimes even a mother-in-law who’s already decided how parenting should be done.

• Grandparents are very involved: In 74% of the families studied, at least one grandparent lived in the home. Sometimes they’re helpful, sometimes they “gently” tell dad he’s doing it all wrong.

• Feeling the tug: Many fathers reported deep joy and pride in being more present. But they also felt tired, bored, or pushed out, especially when their child rejected them in favour of Mum or Grandma.

Why it matters:

What’s happening in China is a mirror of what’s happening everywhere: the ‘dad role’ is shifting, but the old scripts haven’t caught up.

Whether you're juggling your own beliefs, your parents’ opinions, your partner’s expectations, or all three, remember this: You’re allowed to rewrite what fatherhood means for you.

Confucius didn’t have a toddler who only eats food cut into animal shapes. You do. And you’re doing better than you think.

Read the full study here 👈️ 

New re-occuring segment: Deals on baby products!

Raising a baby isn’t cheap, so I went digging through Amazon to find some solid deals on baby stuff.

Some of these might not be your vibe, but there’s probably at least one or two things in here you’ll actually need.

You’re not going to retire on the savings, but $5 off nappies is still $5 off nappies.

(Heads up: some links might’ve expired between me finding them and you reading this.)

1. Baby Gate
   Price before: $99.99
   Price now: $79.97
   20% discount
   Link

2. Bassinet
   Price before: $149.99
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   27% discount
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3. Beach Tent for Baby
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   50% discount
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4. Flashcards for Stimulation
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   30% discount
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5. Baby Swinger with Audio
   Price before: $105.49
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   24% discount
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6. Hello Bello Diapers (Nappies)
   Price before: $37.99
   Price now: $32.20
   15% discount
   Link

That’s about it for now, have a great week!

- Dan from Dad Psych

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