So, who’s right?

Psychologists suggest that becoming a dad is a journey, not a single moment, and it actually begins during pregnancy.

In a 2024 study, interviews with new dads showed that, even early in the pregnancy, they were already reflecting on their own childhoods and relationships with father figures.

For some, their fathers were role models they aimed to follow.

For others, their fathers provided examples of what they didn’t want to be like. This reflection helped them begin shaping their own approach to fatherhood early on.

Throughout the pregnancy, key moments like ultrasounds, feeling the baby kick, or noticing their partner’s physical changes helped bring fatherhood closer to reality. These milestones made the idea of becoming a dad feel more tangible, even though the baby wasn’t here yet.

But it wasn’t until birth that things truly clicked. Seeing their child for the first time, hearing those cries, and holding them for the first time cemented the sense of fatherhood they’d been building throughout the pregnancy.

Fatherhood, as the research suggests, isn’t about one specific moment. It’s a journey—one that begins with reflection, grows through shared experiences, and becomes real over time.

If you’re waiting for your first child, perhaps try not to and work it all out at once. Just go with the natural flow and understand that any thoughts and feelings you’re having right now are all part of the process.

Trust the process.