What is 'nesting' & do Dads do it?

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What is 'nesting' & do Dads do it?

You’ve just found yourself reorganizing the kitchen for the third time this week or hitting the gym like you're prepping for a superhero role. If that sounds familiar, congratulations—you might be nesting.

While nesting is often linked to moms-to-be, dads can experience it too. It’s a natural instinct that can kick in when your partner is expecting, driven by the urge to create a safe, prepared environment for your growing family.

Not every dad will feel compelled to repaint the nursery or stockpile nappies, but if you’re suddenly obsessed with making life “just right” before the baby arrives, you’re not alone.

Let’s break down why this happens, how to spot it, and what to do if it gets out of hand.

Why do dads nest?

Nesting comes from a mix of psychology and biology. While hormonal changes in moms are well-known, dads can experience hormonal shifts too, like increased oxytocin and reduced testosterone, triggering protective, home-prepping instincts.

There’s also a strong psychological drive. Becoming a dad is a huge life change, so tackling home projects or even chasing extra work can be a way of feeling more in control.

Prepping the home, sorting finances, or getting in shape can ease the anxiety of stepping into a new role.

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Signs you’re nesting

Not sure if you’re nesting or just unusually productive? Here are some classic nesting behaviors for dads:

• Cleaning and organizing: You’re vacuuming under the sofa “just in case” or arranging the baby’s outfits by size and colour.

• Stocking up: Bulk-buying nappies, emergency snacks, or even household supplies to “get ahead” before the chaos begins.

• DIY projects: Painting the nursery, fixing things that “might break,” or assembling baby gear months in advance.

• Financial prep: Taking on freelance gigs, side hustles, or working extra hours to build a financial cushion.

• Fitness frenzy: Suddenly hitting the gym harder than ever to be in peak condition, ready to “protect and provide.”

• Over-planning: Making detailed family schedules, mapping hospital routes, and creating contingency plans for everything baby-related.

When nesting becomes too much

While nesting can be helpful, it can also become overwhelming. If repainting the fence or chasing side gigs is pulling you away from your partner or affecting your work-life balance, it’s time to reassess. Ask yourself: Am I doing this because it’s necessary or because I’m avoiding my emotions about becoming a dad?

Nesting tips for dads

1. Prioritise what matters: Focus on essential tasks and leave the “nice-to-haves” for later.

2. Check in with your partner: Team up on tasks and make sure your nesting habits are supportive, not isolating.

3. Set time limits: Block time for specific tasks so nesting doesn’t take over your evenings or weekends.

4. Make it meaningful: Choose projects with emotional value, like assembling the crib together or designing a family photo wall.

Nesting is nature’s way of helping you prepare for fatherhood. Embrace the urge, stay balanced, and remember: it’s about building a home filled with love, not perfection.

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